Let's be Happy^^

Dear Blog,

..hello I'm back my dear blog!!

I've been away from you for like 2 weeks?? I'm not really sure..sorry.

you know I was just around ..at your sister blog about my school. I've been busy doing 'public service' there so I hope you'll understand.

more & more fellow students there have been served & I feel really happy when they give their feedbacks through themessages on facebook.

I feel some sense of achievement & fulfillment with that. but of course I feel the same way for you too..it's just that ithad to be dealt with immediately.

Dear Universe I'm an NBSB at 21 -- Don't be shocked please..

Dear Universe,



I can't find any place or person where I can share fully what has been bothering me all my young adult life.



Here's a confession: I am 21 and an NBSB (no boyfriend since birth). Well don't be shocked. The least you can do is respond normally to that. Everybody made the same response when I tell them that. I'm not ugly, I'm not a lesbian, I have a several suitors but none of them appeal to me. Maybe because I'm 'pihikan' as how they call it. I am normal I guess until people keep giving the same shocked & seemingly disappointed gesture. I've liked few guys back in high school & college but really I can't fall in love. Or do I really know what love exactly is???? I've never been inlove all my life. I've been wonderin' why.



Well as a psychology major, I've been finding answers why. maybe this a some kind of disorder or maladjustment. I've found out so many reasons or rather excuses for this. And enumerating them would only fill this page up. They are just too many to mention.

What should I do??

Desperately yours,

Jill

First Day of December

This picture was taken by me last '08 Christmas at my Best Friend's House.

Today is a very significant day for me. Nope it's not my birthday nor my salary day. Today is the first day of December....which means....?????? what else but the CHRISTMAS we have all been waiting for. This is the time of the year that I keep looking forward to. It keeps me a child at heart!

I don't know but the name Christmas sounds blissful to my ears. I love to hear carols & christmas songs. I love to see various blinking lights...I love seeing & feeling the atmosphere of giving & loving around me.

What really matters most for me every Christmas is the thought that people never forget to give & share what they have unconditionally. There was one time that I was so giddy waiting for the special holiday. Then it came. I think I was in 2nd year high school. I woke up in the morning & I didn't receive any from my parents. My pocket was also empty. I felt sad the depressed then.... suddenly I became sulky. I had thought. "What does Christmas really mean?" Is it all about the gifts?? The lights?? the songs?? the rushing people in markets & department stores?? I had thought hard trying to find answers from my innocent mind.... then I looked around me. People are smiling. They are genuinely happy especially the kids. It enlightened me & gave me the real meaning of the holiday.

And so the countdoen continues.... here I am again finding the child in me every Christmas. I hope it's not only for Christmas. I wish to see things from a child's eyes..then I'm sure that would keep me smiling.

My Poems

***The Poems Originally written by Me

Spared



Staring blankly on your lap
Tears of fury shedding in your weary beaten angelic face
A little creature almost drowned
Suddenly moving, bloodstained it has become
In its first few hours out


By product of your sufferings witnessed
By its innocent inquiring eyes
“Am I not to bring bliss to you?” thought the life on your lap
Slowly scratching its fragile skin against yours
A life indeed that warms you up

Blinded by the light the “life” is giving
You set your feet to the ground
Gradually regaining your weight
And setting your next footsteps
Suddenly there is LIFE


Now staring blankly out of nowhere
Unmoved by the crown of silver hair
You let yourself be overwhelmed
Held in the lap of the “life” you’d almost given up
Each other’s blurred gaze met
The sparer and the spared
The same inquiring eyes you once loathed
“At least you drained the lap that wanted me drowned”

*********

*This was dedicated to my student who was then about to end his class with me.

Shining Jewel

A shining Jewel in my view
Blurred, Unclear & few
His voice is vivid
And makes my day placid

Smiling face I imagine
That really makes the class goin’
Endless laughs linger
And makes each day better

But today is inevitable
Goodbye I need to mumble
And never will it bring him on the “other line” again
Leaving me sad & barren

But I know he’ll always be
The “Jason” he used to be
Staying bright in the dark
Very visible like a trademark

————- 030609

*****

Tanging Sandigan

Panu nga ba sisimulan
Hukayin ang aking kamalayan?
Upang matutong harapin mga dagok ng buhay
Sa istoryang tila walang humpay

San nga ba patungo mga munting anino
Na palaging nakasunod sa likuran ko?
Tila nag uudyok na ako’y bumitaw at sumuko
Pero kayak ko ‘to, yan ang alam ko
Dahil tanging ako lamang bida sa istoryang ito

Magpumilit man akong kumawala
Sa daloy ng buhay na di ako ang may gawa
Kitlin man ang buhay ng may sala
Bandang huli ako rin ang magagambala

Mas mabuti nang sa Diyos magtiwala
At sa kaaway’ magbigay pala
Tiyak kaligayahay’ makakamtan
Sa mundong ang alam lng ay ako’y

*****

Baba

***This Poem is published on our school paper

** This one is just sent to me...but it was then so short & there were no rhymes....I fixed it & here it is....


Fate was kind, and she did sendyou, to be my trusted friend,I’ll stand by you, until the end,because that’s what friends should do
A shoulder lent to catch your tears,your secrets kept, for countless years,protect you from your darkest fearsbecause that’s what friends should do.
I’ll stand by you, when times are grim,though I love you, and you love her,Chances we’d work out are slim.So I just made a happy “us” in my dream
I know I can be kind of slow,and lacking muscles head to toe,but I hope you want me so
Coz surely I’ll be taken out from this great sorrow
But if a friend is all you see,you’ll always have a friend in me,forever by your side I’ll be,because that’s what friends should be

******

Unlikely Unlike Them


***This Poem is published on our school paper

I’m as free as a soaring bird
Able to go places “never heard”
Hunting prey for survival
Wanting more than what’s usual

Brave was I according to them
Facing realities that overwhelm
My soul keeps fighting till the last drop
Never stops nor takes a nap

Strong as I might be seen
But also crying deep within
Coz I am also a human being
Who needs to shed a tear when hurting

Even I possess those good qualities
I don’t really want to be like this
I’d rather be weak & have my mother’s care
Than be really strong & endure His stare

Early bird they call me
It’s because I left early
And learned from life enormously
But still my heart remained empty

...I wish I could write some more...but I've been too busy....

>>>there are times that I'm trying & I have much time ...but I lack inspiration<<<