Something to Ponder About My Sister

I've posted here several times how my relationship was with my 'ate'. It wasn't totally bad. But disputes and arguments with her were inevitable. I was the breadwinner for an older sister and a younger brother. At the same time, I was juggling thesis, work and bills. A social life was never even an option. It was very hard on my part. Seeing them have all the free time they wanted while there I was, a sleep/social life-deprived 20 something year old NBSB. I felt like 'it' had taken something away from me. I always blamed my sister but still I couldn't help myself but still help her find a job.

Fortunately, she found a job she had always wanted. It wasn't a downhill struggle. She had to cope with a lot of rejections but she was strong. Now she's starting to regain her lost honor. She is studying while working. Somehow she thanks me for my 'insults'. She said somehow it made her stronger and struggle more. I am happy that in a way though in a bad way, I served as a catalyst.

Now of course she is still the eldest among siblings, but I play that role (financially) for the mean time. But I am genuinely happy that she's starting to take the pieces little by little.

By the way, enough of the drama. I've been thinking what provoked me to write this post. And I remember one incident where I think was a great insult to her. It was during my vacation in my hometown (Sorsogon). When I was about to leave for a ride back to Manila together with 'ate', my parents knew that I had no extra money for any kinds of emergencies. They were giving me some amount but I refused knowing that they'd be penniless again. They insisted but I strongly refused again. Then 'ate' took it which made my parents take it back and offer to give it to me again. That to me is an example of a gesture that my parents favor me way more than my sister. And I could just feel 'ate's' pain that time. I've only realized it just recently. I don't know why just memories of yesterday are only appreciated when it's already too late.

It's always a REWIND for me. I never get to enjoy the moment, which makes me really sad. But somehow I'm thankful that I remembered.

The Shocking News.

Last Saturday afternoon...as my older sister, younger brother & I were goofing around...talking about silly things..we received a shocking txt message from our sister who's 2 years younger than me & now in the province.

...she started it with this..

"...Te ano gusto mo? buhay ako o patay?"

(..we shrugged it off..since the atmosphere then was really jocular..but we asked.)

what's the problem? nagtitrip ka na naman no?hehehe para kang tanga!"

badus ako

(buntis ako)

=(

huwaat???? lang buwan na?

9 months.

(huwaaat?? again..never really thought it's possible)

..I think SHOCKED was even an understatement for what we truly felt that time.

If you know us all..my siblings & I.....you'd immediately say that I'd be the first one to get maried & be involved in these kinds of things.

I least expected it.

just last May I was there with them..I noticed she got bigger. her hips and all but I never really thought that she's pregnant. It was easy to hide since she's been nearly obese the whole time. She's able to keep it from our parents & neighbors!!

we persuaded her to tell our parents there...so that in case anything happens at least they know what to do. And also I sent her comforting words. words she never thought would come from someone 'righteous' like me.

Honestly....although now that I am partly the breadwinner..I don't feel really bad about it. I know I have my own obligations..for my studies, for the house, to bring food on our table (for me, my younger brother & older sister)..send money back home..

BUT I just can't bring myself to HATE my sister for what she did.

In fact..I feel so guilty..that all this time I'd been with her..I've never been a real sister.

I never felt her dillema. never comforted her in times when she almost planned to kill an angel inside her..times when she almost gave up her life.

naturingan pa man din akong Psychology major student.

GUILT overwhelms me right now..but I am more than willing to make it up to her.

It was SATURDAY night ..when she told our parents..

my father just received his VERDICT.

that's what he's been dreading all his life. that all the 'kapilyuhan' he did when he was younger with numerous women will be paid by one of his daughters.

although I wasn't there..I kind of picture what he truly felt..I'm sure it wouldn't be manifested on his face. He's good at hiding his feelings & pretending indifferent you know.

..then next to know was my Mom..who just came from his 'labada' from a neighbor's house.(yes.that's how poor we are)

..she just cried...

..and upon knowing this..my heart was filled with pity..with overwhelming desire to take her out of that filthy place where her in-law's condemn her.

..then she slept with her constant companion.

her tears.

...not to exaggerate or sound OA...

but it just really breaks my heart to know these kind of news about her.

I can't do anything right now.

I just have to continue what I'm doing..stay where I am and hopefully...

make her someday truly happy in her life.

*****

SATURDAY was the revelation day..and here comes SUNDAY.

the 'DELIVERY' day!

she gave birth the day after she shocked us all!

It was a baby girl!!

& she took all the characteristics in my mother's side..

mestisa, matangos ilong, kissable lips. just like what my mother used to be..

My mom..the new LOLA couldn't help but be swayed & be enamored by this little angel in our family. She was very happy..proud & all that!

We called her upon knowing that everythin's been okay...all she said were the good looks the baby got from her side..

and I even asked outright..

"san niyo po iuuwi si **** niyan?"

I was expecting that my sis would be brought to another's house..to avoid the mock, the shame to my mother..

..but all she said was..

"mas mabuti nang nadagdagan,,kesa nabawasan!"

How a mother cares...is just so unconditional. can't describe it. words fail me.

She doesn't care about all those nosey, annoying people around her.

While I was extremely worried.

It's not that they (gossip mongers) matter...it's just that I'm thinking how it will affect my mother.

that's all.

but since it's okay now to her.I'm okay.

but it's still I know in some way..she'll be affected... I just hope I'm more capable now to bring our family all together in one roof.

......

these gossipmongers are a hybrid kind. they come in many forms..some are try to seem nice..some are outright.

They've been inflicting us since the day we lost all the 'good fortune'....

.........and.....

...and...

I still have a lot to tell.. but I realized they are not worth the effort & time?.

so here.

this ends here.

Duman samuya -- (Doon po sa amin) ...

These are videos I've taken last summer when I went to my hometown! The scenes look enthralling but unfortunately they don't have audi.

No Place Like Home 2

I don't want this to look like a photo album BUT there is no better way to describe my experience back home than showing you these humble photos..

Let me tour you to our GARDEN..

gumamela

yellow bell

still green bananas

sill green tomatoes

The Sorsogon City Pier

The UPO.

(I remember that when we were still in high school we sell this kinds of UPO to our neighbors so that we could have 'baon'

The Bacon Beach

My younger siblings.

(by height).. Biboy, Jade, Jonalyn.

(I don't know but this picture motivates me to do something more for their future. Just look at heir innocent smiles)

The palayan in front of our house.

This is Biboy eating grahams.


***Thanks to LAINE for the idea on the title***

My Hometown

Map of Sorsogon

.Sorsogon City - that has been the place I consider my hometown, my origin.although I am really born in the city of Caloocan. Every news about my beloved city never pass my eyes & keen ears without being scrutinized & acknowledged well. That's how desparately I've been hoping for some news back home. But recently, as various strong typhoons namely "Ondoy" or "Ketsana" havocked, I felt like I'd rather stop the yearning. It's been always a bad news.

The Second Floor of the Sorsogon Shopping Center Located
at Magsaysay Avenue Serves as the Municipal and Later
the City Hall of Sorsogon untill September 2006

The Old Municipal Building of Sorsogon Built in 1928,
Still Exists Today and Used as the Office of the
Bureau of Fire Protection

The City Mayor Leovic Dioneda

According to a gma TV, the city is located along the Typhoon Belt. Meaning it is frequently strucked by different typhoons which 'visits' the country every year. As a result the agriculture sector has been a failure to bring income (which used to do) to the city. People there are getting poorer & poorer. And I'm wonderin' how it can still recover. But fortunately, God has created men to have defense mechanisms. Sorsoguenos are now being adjusting & adapting to this. They've been making sure to be ready when the 'enemy' strikes. Moreover, they remain to be a happy group of people still seeing the silver lining amidst the situation & with the help of ther natives now thriving in different parts of the country & even the world. They continue to give hope & support.

The famous whaleshark or 'butanding'.

Logo for the city festival.

Below is a video taken in Donsol, Sorsogon. The town deprived of industrial establishments but bestowed rich natural sea inhabitants called 'butanding' or whaleshark.

Photo Credit: Sorsogon Website

Video Credit: piafaustino on youtube