Last Saturday afternoon...as my older sister, younger brother & I were goofing around...talking about silly things..we received a shocking txt message from our sister who's 2 years younger than me & now in the province.
...she started it with this..
"...Te ano gusto mo? buhay ako o patay?"
(..we shrugged it off..since the atmosphere then was really jocular..but we asked.)
what's the problem? nagtitrip ka na naman no?hehehe para kang tanga!"
badus ako
(buntis ako)
=(
huwaat???? lang buwan na?
9 months.
(huwaaat?? again..never really thought it's possible)
..I think SHOCKED was even an understatement for what we truly felt that time.
If you know us all..my siblings & I.....you'd immediately say that I'd be the first one to get maried & be involved in these kinds of things.
I least expected it.
just last May I was there with them..I noticed she got bigger. her hips and all but I never really thought that she's pregnant. It was easy to hide since she's been nearly obese the whole time. She's able to keep it from our parents & neighbors!!
we persuaded her to tell our parents there...so that in case anything happens at least they know what to do. And also I sent her comforting words. words she never thought would come from someone 'righteous' like me.
Honestly....although now that I am partly the breadwinner..I don't feel really bad about it. I know I have my own obligations..for my studies, for the house, to bring food on our table (for me, my younger brother & older sister)..send money back home..
BUT I just can't bring myself to HATE my sister for what she did.
In fact..I feel so guilty..that all this time I'd been with her..I've never been a real sister.
I never felt her dillema. never comforted her in times when she almost planned to kill an angel inside her..times when she almost gave up her life.
naturingan pa man din akong Psychology major student.
GUILT overwhelms me right now..but I am more than willing to make it up to her.
It was SATURDAY night ..when she told our parents..
my father just received his VERDICT.
that's what he's been dreading all his life. that all the 'kapilyuhan' he did when he was younger with numerous women will be paid by one of his daughters.
although I wasn't there..I kind of picture what he truly felt..I'm sure it wouldn't be manifested on his face. He's good at hiding his feelings & pretending indifferent you know.
..then next to know was my Mom..who just came from his 'labada' from a neighbor's house.(yes.that's how poor we are)
..she just cried...
..and upon knowing this..my heart was filled with pity..with overwhelming desire to take her out of that filthy place where her in-law's condemn her.
..then she slept with her constant companion.
her tears.
...not to exaggerate or sound OA...
but it just really breaks my heart to know these kind of news about her.
I can't do anything right now.
I just have to continue what I'm doing..stay where I am and hopefully...
make her someday truly happy in her life.
*****
SATURDAY was the revelation day..and here comes SUNDAY.
the 'DELIVERY' day!
she gave birth the day after she shocked us all!
It was a baby girl!!
& she took all the characteristics in my mother's side..
mestisa, matangos ilong, kissable lips. just like what my mother used to be..
My mom..the new LOLA couldn't help but be swayed & be enamored by this little angel in our family. She was very happy..proud & all that!
We called her upon knowing that everythin's been okay...all she said were the good looks the baby got from her side..
and I even asked outright..
"san niyo po iuuwi si **** niyan?"
I was expecting that my sis would be brought to another's house..to avoid the mock, the shame to my mother..
..but all she said was..
"mas mabuti nang nadagdagan,,kesa nabawasan!"
How a mother cares...is just so unconditional. can't describe it. words fail me.
She doesn't care about all those nosey, annoying people around her.
While I was extremely worried.
It's not that they (gossip mongers) matter...it's just that I'm thinking how it will affect my mother.
that's all.
but since it's okay now to her.I'm okay.
but it's still I know in some way..she'll be affected... I just hope I'm more capable now to bring our family all together in one roof.
......
these gossipmongers are a hybrid kind. they come in many forms..some are try to seem nice..some are outright.
They've been inflicting us since the day we lost all the 'good fortune'....
.........and.....
...and...
I still have a lot to tell.. but I realized they are not worth the effort & time?.
so here.
this ends here.
