I have already filed a resignation. And I was a bit antsy when I did it. I feel like I owe the company a lot. So it was mentally, emotionally & psychologically laborious. The heavy feeling was even made intense when so suddenly, out of nowhere [I don't know if it's a coincidence or not] a certain 'compliment' from my student was plastered all over the office. People were like congratulating me as if I was promoted.
Why do I feel my worth from the company when I am so certain about leaving? I've been waiting for this for my almost 3 years tenure. Why?
It's really hard..but I feel good at the same time. That I am needed somewhere. That there is a space that will be vacated in case I leave. The feeling is surreal. I can't explain. I am not so sure if where I'm headed is as stable as this. Honestly I'm kind of dreading & looking forward to it at the same time. I really like this uncertainty. All these years I've made sure of everything before aiming for it. But this time the excitement is priceless. I'm going to step out of my shell. It's liberating.
Just the thought of the novelty of experience that lies ahead is really making me giddy. God help me!