Mondays used to cheer me up when I was in high school. I got so giddy knowing that I could again meet my crush & have my 'baon'..but as we grow old things change. some for the better.some for worse.
Today is Monday..but it has a sad connotation now. This is the day employees loathe. for it is the day farthest from the weekend. the day -off! But anyway I was full of excitement for this day coz I'll get to meet my students. my friends as I call them. but the excitement vanished as I experienced a pain on my lower abdomen upon waking up. My dreaded day came. The first day of my menstruation - the day when I have my dysmenorrhea.
dysmenorrhea - how I cursed it! no one knows. How I
felt like just taking away my life when i have this. how all the hopes & dreams that fill me & keep me alive got all sucked up by this 'simple' disease. it was hell!!
I curled up, down, turned aside, backwards, forward. different positions I tried to temporarily ease the pain until the dolfenal (mefenamic acid) takes effect. the 1 1/2 hours I've endured is unimaginable. I felt hopeless & limited. I cried like a child left buy her mom. I looked funny, stupid & pathetic. My sister didn't know what to do. She just kept fannning me which just made me more feeling like puking. When the bout begins, I immediately pray I'd fall asleep. Coz as I wake up all the pain will surely be gone. All I have to wait is just that moment- sleep. but a while ago it seemed like decades. I can't remember how long exactly. I magined everything sweet & nice. I tried to condition my mind to think of good things... I daydreamed. it helped. then the daydream became a dream. I was sleeping. That sleep or shall I call it a nap was a bliss. It was my refuge.
.when I woke up! everything seemed alive! the sun is brighter. the air was fresher & life was more promising. It was another life!!
Some people have their second lives..but I have so many....this life I'm living now is my 96th . I had my very first menstruation at the age of 14 & I'm now 21. So 8 years. Each year with 12 months. Each month is with new & redeemed life.
So although this disease is a curse to me I still consider it a blessing...only in grotesque disguise. It is my monthly reminder that life is indeed beautiful.
So this 96th life of mine will not go to waste. I will not allow it! I have to be happy & justify that I'm worthy of this.
Happy Monday everybody!!